Comments on: About This Blog http://www.jayzheng.com Mon, 30 Aug 2010 22:56:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Anna Stout http://www.jayzheng.com/about-this-blog/comment-page-1/#comment-275 Anna Stout Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:03:16 +0000 http://www.jayzheng.com/?page_id=364#comment-275 Hi Jay, I've really enjoyed looking at your blog. I'd like to start an internet marketing project within the next year, so I was very happy to come across it (quite by accident, while following the trail of "coln-x"), though I still don't know what a "wobo" is. ;-) Anyway, I appreciate your efforts to help people with their marketing and I noticed some language usage that could be improved and thought I could help you with that. Please don't take offense; your writing is very good, that's why it's so easy to correct the few things that could be improved. I've underlined the words or phrases in question and put notes about them afterward parenthetically. Oh, I see the underlines didn't transfer over from Word, so you'll have to sort it out by parenthetical remarks. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me and/or I can send you a copy of the Word document. I hope this may be of some assistance to you. Sincerely, Anna Stout From the following areas: About This Blog I know how precious your time is, and you (I would use “your” here as that is the more correct form – the possessive with the noun as “spending”. “You” is not incorrect but it used to be – was when I was a kid -- though now it is accepted as an informal usage.) spending it on reading my writings… … still not getting it. “It” being the effective … … with the world and with (not essential, but better) you… 1. I am NOT looking to monetize (Did you intend to use this word in a creative, rather than pedestrian way?) anything. … it is because I felt (change to “feel”, as it is on-going, not in the past) they are (“may be” is better here) helpful to you in some way. 2. I am looking for (change to “to”; incorrect usage) engage and connect with people. 3. … world to know of (required) my existence… excellence and have influences in people’s lives. (plural not used here; try “be an influence in people’s lives.” or “have an influence on people’s lives.”) I want to improve and thrive, and I sincerely hope you could (“can” is much better) join me on my journey. Starter’s Kit Domain registeration (“registration”) Hi Jay,

I’ve really enjoyed looking at your blog. I’d like to start an internet marketing project within the next year, so I was very happy to come across it (quite by accident, while following the trail of “coln-x”), though I still don’t know what a “wobo” is. ;-)

Anyway, I appreciate your efforts to help people with their marketing and I noticed some language usage that could be improved and thought I could help you with that. Please don’t take offense; your writing is very good, that’s why it’s so easy to correct the few things that could be improved. I’ve underlined the words or phrases in question and put notes about them afterward parenthetically.

Oh, I see the underlines didn’t transfer over from Word, so you’ll have to sort it out by parenthetical remarks. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me and/or I can send you a copy of the Word document.

I hope this may be of some assistance to you.

Sincerely,

Anna Stout

From the following areas:

About This Blog

I know how precious your time is, and you (I would use “your” here as that is the more correct form – the possessive with the noun as “spending”. “You” is not incorrect but it used to be – was when I was a kid — though now it is accepted as an informal usage.) spending it on reading my writings…

… still not getting it. “It” being the effective …
… with the world and with (not essential, but better) you…

1. I am NOT looking to monetize (Did you intend to use this word in a creative, rather than pedestrian way?) anything. … it is because I felt (change to “feel”, as it is on-going, not in the past) they are (“may be” is better here) helpful to you in some way.

2. I am looking for (change to “to”; incorrect usage) engage and connect with people.

3. … world to know of (required) my existence… excellence and have influences in people’s lives. (plural not used here; try “be an influence in people’s lives.” or “have an influence on people’s lives.”) I want to improve and thrive, and I sincerely hope you could (“can” is much better) join me on my journey.

Starter’s Kit

Domain registeration (“registration”)

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